25 Random Things About Me (Benjamin Button)

  1. My four  favourite words: bayou, hoodoo, gitcha, chooglin’
  2. My death row last meal?  Bacon Cheddar Gordita Crunch
  3. I frequently have night terrors about getting caught bit-torrenting dwarf porn
  4. I once went back to find the love of my life, only to walk away. Wait – that was 16 times in the same movie.
  5. When I was a boy, I thought ‘Cajun’ meant trapping critters and babies in cages, poking them with sticks, and then setting them on fire.
  6. Deleted scene from Benjamin Button: my years in Mexico as legendary Lucha Libre wrestler Santo, el Enmascarado de Plata.
  7. Dijonaise gives me gas.
  8. As a teenager that looked 60 years old, I often resorted to using ‘roofies‘ to get some action
  9. I can drink twelve pints of buttermilk in one sitting.
  10. When I’m alone at night, I like to dress up in high heels, douse myself with fancy perfume, and dance the Charleston with an old coat rack
  11. I invented the ‘atomic wedgie
  12. I wear a smaller hat underneath my regular hat. Keeps me young. And doctors say it’s good for my shingles.
  13. My favourite movie of all-time is Kazaam
  14. I’ve got a rock solid business plan to open a chain of Bubba Button Shrimp restaurants, but can’t get V.C. funding
  15. I’m the ‘Ben’ in Ben Gay
  16. I have never been on an aeroplane (What’s the deal with aeroplane food?)
  17. I was Wilfred Brimley’s understudy in Cocoon and Henry Fonda’s stunt double in On Golden Pond
  18. I can breathe through my ears
  19. Shhhh – don’t tell anyone: I prefer zippers over buttons
  20. I’m the one who put the ram in the ram-a-lama ding dong
  21. But I’m NOT the one who put the dip in the dip she dip dee
  22. Much like a crustacean, if you cut off one of my limbs, it miraculously grows back
  23. Secretly, I gloat that everyone else on Earth is getting older, wrinklier, and uglier, while I get younger, smoother, and hotter.
  24. Most painful process during making of Benjamin Button?  Four hours of makeup daily to make my crotch look ‘old.’
  25. Daisy’s breath smelled like carp.

1 Comment

Filed under Benjamin Button Is A Horrible Movie

One response to “25 Random Things About Me (Benjamin Button)

  1. This movie is great a little long but it has a nice message at the end

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