Benjamin Button’s Bayou Bouillabaisse – Exclusive O.A.B.B.C Recipe

INGREDIENTS

• 1kg boneless white fish fillets – preferably old and leathery
• 500g uncooked medium prawns – preferably with lots of veins
• 2 tablespoons olive oil – preferably musty
• 2 tablespoons Cajun seasoning
• 1.5 litres (6 cups) fish stock
• 1/3 cup (80ml) tomato paste
• ¼ cup (60ml) water from the bilge pump of a tug boat
• 1 medium (350g) hummingbird, thinly sliced
• 1 medium (150g) clump of old man hair, chopped (must fall out naturally)
• 4 tbsp of human tears
• 850g (2 x 425g) can of boredom
• 3 crushed extra-strength sedative pills
• ½ cup (125ml) dry white whine – old man whine preferred, but can substitute wrinkly baby whine

METHOD

• Cut fish into 3cm pieces. Shell and de-vein prawns, leaving tails intact. Combine fish, prawns, oil and seasoning in bowl, cover; refrigerate 1 hour.
• Add bilge-water from tug boat, human tears, sedatives and stir until smooth.
• Watch 3 hour movie, put the boredom into a can, and then pour boredom into bowl.
• Boil.  While dish is cooking, whine about your life and that you are aging backwards.
• Serve hot at 4:30pm.
• Eat a hard candy.
• Do a crossword.
• Finally, go to bed at 6:30pm.

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